I was recently on my favorite Reddit groups when someone asked about how to manage feeling overwhelmed by text messages. It struck a cord because I have dealt with major anxiety and procrastination due to the messages I would get from family, colleagues, and patients. I shared 3 steps with my fellow redditor about how I broke this cycle of anxiety and procrastination. Now, I am going to share it with you.
The three steps to stop feeling overwhelmed about your text messages are to figure out why you are having this negative reaction to receiving texts, reframe your thoughts regarding the task, and seek proof that support your goals rather than your fears.
In this article, I will discuss how text messages are impacting your mental health and how to value your well-being by fixing the problem!
How Text Messages Impact Your Mental Health
The Good and The Bad
First, the bad.
I want to start with the negative impact text messaging could be having on your mental health and well-being. Being inundated with messages 24/7 is obviously causing some degree of overwhelm or you probably wouldn’t be reading this article. But here are some other consequences that you may not have considered.
- You stop caring about your safety and the safety of others.
- You are fooled into believing you are an effective multitasker, but really you are just contributing to your own “technostress.”
- You may be becoming a morally and cognitively shallow individual.
- You are losing age-appropriate social skills.
You stop caring about your safety and the safety of others.
We all know we should not text and drive. Yet this does not seem to stop us from doing it. Why is that? Perhaps it is because we think we are skilled at texting or that texting is such a big time-saver that it is worth the risk. Or even more likely, the dopamine rush we get from texting is capable of making us forego our own safety! And what’s more important to your well-being than ensuring your physical health?
You are fooled into believing you are an effective multitasker but really you are just contributing to your own “techostress.”
There is this pervasive myth that one can be an efficient multitasker, especially if we were born after the digital revolution. However, we have got this so wrong. If we look at the basic definition of multitasking, “the ability to cognitively process multiple sources of information simultaneously,” we can see an error in this assumption.
The human brain does not function in this way. Instead, when given multiple assignments, the brain will do what is known as task switching. This means we are giving ourselves less time to learn or complete an assignment, which can have negative effects on our work and well-being. Consider reading “The Myth of Multitasking: How Doing it All Gets Nothing Done” to learn more.
You are becoming a morally and cognitively shallow individual.
The Shallowing Hypothesis postulates that repeat exposure to fast-paced digital media trains the brain to process snippets of information quickly and superficially. So what’s the significance of this?
For one, as you are immersed in this digital age, you are typically spending more time reading abbreviated texts on a screen rather than full-length script in written or printed form. What this likely does is condition your brain to expect information in small, shallow bites. You then lose or are slower to develop the attention span or cognitive skill to process longer, more complex, ethically challenging work.
A study conducted in 2017 by Annissette and Lafrenier analyzed the relationships between texting frequency, social media usage, the Big Five personality traits, reflectiveness, and moral shallowness in undergraduate students. And what they found was that texting frequency and social media usage were “consistent with the shallowing hypothesis.” So participants who frequently used social media/texts were less likely to have “reflective thought and placed less importance on moral life goals.”
How often do you set aside time for daily reflection? Apparently, this was something folks did on the regular. I know I have lost touch with this. I used to journal every day. And with this article, I am now motivated to get back to it!
You no longer have age-appropriate social skills.
Use it or lose it. Apparently, this also applies to social skills like good old-fashioned face-to-face interactions with strangers and loved ones alike. If you are a gen Zer, then your entire childhood, you have had access to various forms of online communication. So your in-person skills may have lagged behind as you have not had as many reasons to talk in-person.
I am a millennial, and I remember the fanciest form of communication I had was the home phone. I would talk on the phone with my best friend for hours every day after school. And I think it really helped me with my social skills later on in life.
And then the good.
Texting is a quick and inexpensive form of communication, so it is no surprise that is has caught on as much as it has. The same goes for emails and other online messaging. What this means for us as a society is that we are now able to leverage this technology in ways that can be of great benefit. For example, most medical offices now have some form of an online/text messaging system so that patients can be in touch with their healthcare team. Suicide hotlines are more accessible for this reason as well.
And while we are talking about some of the hazards of frequent texting and how these can lead to feeling overwhelmed, the reality is that if we gave more importance to the quality of our messages and chose the appropriate form of communication based on a given scenario (i.e. call for lengthy discussions rather than texting), we probably wouldn’t be so distressed.
How to Fix It Now.
Stop feeling overwhelmed by text messages by following these three steps.
- Figure out why you are having this negative reaction to receiving texts.
- Reframe your thoughts regarding the task
- Seek proof that support your goals rather than your fears.
Why do you have this negative reaction to receiving texts?
I can speak from personal experience on this one. I lived in a state of fear of whatever message was going to come into my text, inbasket or email. I was fortunate enough to have a life coach at the time who spotted this and really made me confront the issue.
In time, I came to the realization that the reason I found these messages overwhelming was because I was afraid I would not be able to handle what came my way. Because I had this fear, I procrastinated so much so that I would not touch my messages for days! This was eye-opening to me because it meant this was an area where I lacked confidence. The answer became simple after that, I needed to build my confidence.
So take a few days or even a couple weeks to really figure out what is bothering you. Only then can you fix the problem.
How to Reframe Your Thoughts Regarding Text Messaging
The way to stop feeling overwhelmed by text messages is to reframe your thoughts. You already know why you are feeling the way you are. There is some thought that is likely erroneous that is making you feel bad about this communication. What we need to do is replace that negative thought with a positive one.
Here is what I did.
I knew that I could not keep procrastinating as that made matters worse. So, I scheduled two times in the day to check messages, once at 7am and once at 7pm. If I was on it that day, I may check it three or four times, but at least with this schedule I could not ignore my work.
Then, before checking, I would say something positive and empowering to myself like “I can handle whatever comes my way. And I know how to ask for help if needed.” It was such a simple thing to do, but it worked! Each day, I was getting my work done faster and more efficiently AND with less anxiety.
That lead me to the final step, which was to build my confidence. My goal was to gather proof that I could be timely, efficient, and independent (mostly). Honestly, building confidence comes with practice. Each day that passed showed me I knew what I was doing. And I was more receptive to compliments during this time. It taught me to stop being my own worse critic.
And I am so glad that I did as I am way more on top of my messages than ever. My texts and emails are all handled in a timely manner, and I have even had people marvel at how efficient I am at this (hint: automation)! So I hope you also give yourself a break and try to grow from this using the steps I provided.
Digital Detox
And if you are really feeling extra motivated, then why not try a digital detox? Swear off of social media, respond to texts at set times throughout the day, or let everyone know you are only responding to phone calls. However, you want to do your detox, just do it! According to the 20-5-3 rule, you should disconnect and submerse yourself in nature for 3 days a year to maintain your mental health. I think that is an easily attainable goal.
In Summary
I have just begun to scratch the surface on how text messaging can impact your mental health for better or worse. I am so confident that my strategy to stop being overwhelmed by text messages works, so please do give it a try!
And if all else fails and you just can’t get there (yet), do develop some different coping mechanisms. My all time favorite it to take nature walks around my neighborhood and at local parks as it always elevates my mood. If exercise outdoors interests you, then here is an article on how much time to spend outdoors to maximize those nature-given benefits.
Good luck on your journey!