If you are reading this, you are likely suffering from indecision about whether or not to stay in medical school, go onto residency, or end your medical career. This is a major decision that can impact the rest of your life. I, for one, remember being an indecisive medical student. I exhausted all of my personal contacts trying to weigh the pros and cons of becoming a physician; and it still wasn’t enough. That’s when I sought outside help. In this post, I will discuss the goal-oriented session I had with a coach named Diane Shannon, MD.
First, I want to come right out and say that I think anyone who is struggling to make crucial life decisions, striving for emotional and physical well-being, or struggling to maintain a healthy work-life balance should get a coach. There is something about having someone outside of your network provide an objective opinion about your circumstances that’s both refreshing and reassuring. It’s refreshing because, let’s face it, loved ones tend to say the same thing like a broken record. “You are so smart.” “You can do anything you put your mind to.” I mean come on! Love you all, but it’s time to seek a professional opinion.
What is Life Coaching?
Life coaching is a collaborative and goal-oriented process where a trained professional, known as a life coach, works with individuals to help them achieve personal and professional growth, navigate challenges, and enhance overall well-being.
Life coaching has several subspecialties, each addressing an aspect of personal development. For example, career coaches assist individuals in navigating professional challenges and transitions, providing insights for success. Relationship coaches focus on interpersonal dynamics, fostering healthier connections in personal and professional spheres. Within this spectrum, wellness coaching emerges as a valuable subset, covering areas like fitness, mindfulness, and nutrition.
Regardless of specialization, life coaches aim to empower individuals, offering support and strategies for personal growth. Clients choose coaching based on their unique needs, finding guidance that aligns with their goals and aspirations for a more fulfilled life.
How I, an Indecisive Medical Student on a Budget, Found a Coach
I spent a long time trying to decide whether or not I will pursue residency after medical school. I spoke to my family, friends, partner, and my academic advisor. As you can tell, I’m the type who likes to get a lot of advice. I even got to the point where I sought out former MDs who have transitioned to alternative non-clinical careers for advice.
I took the opportunity to reach out to Diane, a former Internist, because she launched a non-clinical career as a medical writer. I was interested in asking her questions on why she left medicine and how she made such a successful transition into writing. As it turned out, she was also adding life coach to her resume, and she offered to help me with my process! Admittedly, this isn’t the normal way to hire a coach. I’m sure people spend days to weeks searching the web or getting recommendations from friends. But I am not the type to turn down an opportunity to try something new!
My First Session with a Coach
At the time, I only knew one person who had ever hired a life coach. She was a medical student like me, and she was in a similar predicament to me. It really helped solve some of the problems she had in medicine. So when the opportunity presented itself to have a coach, I decided to give it a try.
Diane made a point of explaining to me what I could expect from a life coaching session. She explained that it’s different from a therapy session. We started by talking about my academic background and what led me to enroll in medical school. Once she was caught up to speed about the basic details in my life, she wanted to narrow down our conversation to a specific goal that I wanted to accomplish through our discussion. For me, this was whether or not I should quit medicine. Easy, right?
Related: So You want to Quit Medicine II
What if.. Imagine yourself in 5 years…
The conversation flowed naturally, but I noticed that every so often she would ask me “what if” questions or “imagine yourself 5-year from now” scenarios. I found these exercises simple, but effective. We talked about what my life would be like if I weren’t in medicine, and we discussed the ego attached to being a physician.
Even as a medical student, I received this reverent-like response whenever I introduced myself and my occupation. While it made me uncomfortable that people were solely impressed by my occupation, I admitted that it would probably feel like a loss to know my future occupation will likely not have that sort of effect on people. And I worried about what people would think about me if I quit medical school (when I knew I shouldn’t). It was at this point in the session that I realized the value of having a life coach. There are some things that you’d rather not say out loud. But once you do, it’s a weight off of your shoulders. And you find that what you were afraid of speaking about is not the big bad wolf you were expecting.
Related: How to Make the Decision to QUit Medicine or Stay
Remembering what brought me joy as a Medical Student
As we continued talking, she asked me to think about what activities have brought me joy in the last 6 months. In the past 6 months, I had just finished second year and completed my step 1 exam, so I didn’t really have much to say in this regard. But that in and of itself was enough for me to realize how much of my time and happiness I had sacrificed for my medical training.
I remember saying in passing that my community service work was the only thing that brought me happiness. Fortunately, this didn’t get by her. She made sure to point out the profundity of the statement I just made, and I was surprised to find out that I meant what I said. And she noted that when I spoke about my experiences in medical school, I sounded unenthusiastic about it, like it was a burden rather than a passion. And while I knew I was unhappy in this process, it never occurred to me that I shouldn’t be.
Indecisive Medical Student Due to Delayed Gratification?
I know that sounds absurd, but the culture of medicine is that of extreme delayed gratification. When I expressed any sort of unhappiness to my colleagues/higher-ups, I was either told to suck it up or it will get better in a few years. Deep down, I knew this way of thinking was wrong. But it was hard to go against such common advice. And I even became indecisive about what I liked and what I didn’t like.
Alternative Careers for an Indecisive Medical Student
Finally, we discussed what alternative careers I would be interested in doing if money or my student loans were a non-factor, which really helped me a lot. I realized I had a very narrow list of potential career options because I was focusing too much on making enough money to repay my loans.
I am not saying that it’s bad to think about salary. But think about it this way. If you can make it into medical school, I am sure you can make it in any profession and end up with a decent salary. So I ended the session feeling more comfortable in how I was feeling about leaving medicine behind. Moreover, I gained confidence in the way I was going about making this decision. I ultimately, decided to get board certified prior to transitioning to my career as a wellness coach, which leaves the door open for me to practice in at-risk communities.
Would I do it again?
This was a great experience, but let’s face reality. Having a life coach costs money. Even if you find a lovely coach that’s in your price range, that’s still extra cash that you can’t spend on anything else. So would I do it again? Well, I became a wellness coach, so the answer is obviously YES.
And no.
In fact, I hired another coach after Diane, who was absolutely fantastic at helping me remove some mental blocks that were holding me back from pursuing my life goals. So when I can afford to hire a life coach, I do.
I would consider hiring a life coach if my budget allows, the issue is complex enough to require professional guidance, and if overcoming procrastination or self-doubt proves to be a significant challenge on my own. But everyone’s needs are different, so this truly is a personal decision for you to make.
Overall, life coaches are great for holding you accountable, reassuring you that you are on the right path, and providing resources/insight that you would never have discovered on your own. And sometimes, that’s all you really need.
In summary
Should an indecisive medical student, resident, or physician hire a coach?
Honestly, there are so many decisions to be made, such as which medical school to attend, what research to focus on, what field of medicine to specialize in, what residency to apply for… you get the point. And it’s such a busy time in your life that I think it’s worth it to meet with a life coach to iron out a plan with someone who will hold you accountable.
You can try your academic advisor for this, but I have found that they are incredibly busy advising the 100+ students in your school that it’s hard to really get their undivided attention for as long as you may require. Besides, you wouldn’t think twice if you wanted to lose weight and someone suggested you get a personal trainer, would you? Why not have someone by your side who can help you build the life of your dreams?
I know I’ve said this in a number of ways, but I recommend getting a life coach. Be aware that sessions from excellent coaches can cost more than $200/hr! But you get what you pay for in this regard. And if you search, you can likely find a life coach within your budget. Besides, it’s a small price to pay for the peace of mind you get from being able to talk to someone who can remain objective about your problems. And as an added bonus, your loved ones will be much happier now that they don’t have to talk to you about the same problem over and over again.
Want to know more about how to figure out your career path? I recommend starting here: A Medical Student Guide to Stress Free Life.